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Can't get you outta my head!  From our "Out of his Head" Correspondent, Angelo Del Fuego
...state of the art equipment, though obviously not modern art...A Scientist at 'BudgetScience©orp2000' claims to have made a major breakthrough in the field of the mind! He has supposedly discovered the part of the brain that is responsible for retaining annoying songs and repeating them over and over in your head.

Boffins in the lab are testing laser surgery to permanantly destroy the part of the brain involved. So far results have been 'inconclusive' as this particular part of the brain also seems to affect balance, hearing, the senses of smell, taste and humour, short-term memory, long-term memory, and bladder and bowel control.

squidgy stuff Human guinea pig, Dusty Beardysoft, is excited to be part of this ground-breaking experimentation - "I used to get all these songs going round and round and round and round and around and round, it was doing my head in, now thanks to Dr Slough, I can't remember a thing!"

...Dusty before...this photo hasn't even been doctored yet!..Dr Ernst Slough has been experimenting at his St Leonards-On-Sea laboratory for several weeks. - "I had this tune stuck in my head for days on end and I just thought, to hell with that' I'm going to find a cure...I started by taking apart an old CD player to get a laser beam and an old Hornby trainset transformer to boost it and a toaster to supercharge it further... I contacted my neighbour Dusty and asked him to lie still while I adjusted his hearing aid, and Bob's your uncle, he can't remember a thing. I've been blasting him day and night with Kylie and Danni reaction at all, it's a miracle cure!"
Friends and family of Mr Beardysoft are less than impressed, "Dusty is a vegetable, that Boffin from Hell destroyed his mind!" Dr Slough hit back saying "These people don't understand the complexity of the human mind. One simply can't put a price on progress, although I am paying Dusty a one-off fee of £215 plus luncheon vouchers."

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