|TiMeSlIp In HaStInGs! From our "Time is quite clearly not a constant" Correspondent, Angelo Del Fuego|
Michael Zumata is not the type of guy who believes in aliens, UFO's, cattle mutilation or unexplainable time loss. Or at least he wasn't until he experienced all these things for himself first hand! (except the cattle mutilation.)
Michael holds the vital position of Temporary (Acting) Deputy Administrative Assistant at Woodside District Council in Hastings East Sussex - a mere pebble throw from his basement apartment in fashionable Hollington. If he's not at his desk at 9 a.m. sharp, wheels within cogs within spindly-things grind to a halt, heads will roll and Mr Cooper, his boss, wants to know why.
Michael had successfully completed the entire first week of his trial period when things started to get 'unusual'! Michael takes up the story - '...my first week had gone so well that on Sunday night I decided to celebrate, I had a few pints and a couple of dozen shorts in the Titanium Man, hit Oddfellows, The Unwelcome Stranger, Basils Interweb Lounge, Goebbels, Pizza Parade and ended up at Krüll's House of Beer. I left there at approximately 2.15 a.m. and headed home...I remember suddenly losing my sense of balance and seeing flashing lights - and so I 'dived' for cover into a nearby hedge. The next thing I know it's 10.45 a.m. I'm in Bexhill-On-Sea - my clothes are tattered and torn, my face is cut and one of my trainers is missing - More to the point I had lost 8½ hours! I've thought long and hard about it and the only reasonable and/or logical explanation is that I was abducted and experimented upon by space aliens for reasons unknown ...'
Michael's boss, Mr Cooper is sympathetic, ...'it's a funny old world and stranger things happen in fiction than in real life. I've told Michael to take as long as he needs to get over his ordeal...'
Michael has now become worried that aliens are targeting him deliberately ...'things have got mighty weird, I find I'm losing on average 8 or 9 hours a night, it's like these aliens are following home from the pub or something...'
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